Neil Pond
Updated on: October 9, 2024 6:16 am GMT
Alison Lapper’s Journey: A Heartfelt Exploration of Grief and Art
In a poignant new documentary, renowned artist Alison Lapper reflects on her remarkable life, the profound grief of losing her son, Parys, and the criticism she faced as a disabled mother in a world that often struggled to accept differences. The BBC One documentary, “Alison Lapper: In My Own Words,” airs on September 9, 2023, capturing her struggles, triumphs, and the powerful legacy of her artwork, including the famous sculpture that sparked outrage in Trafalgar Square.
Caption: Alison Lapper and her son, Parys, shared a deep bond throughout his life, a relationship marked by love and challenges.
The Controversial Sculpture: A Defence of Motherhood and Disability
When Marc Quinn’s sculpture of a naked, pregnant Alison Lapper was unveiled on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square in 2005, it was intended as a celebration of motherhood and disability. However, the reaction was far from universally positive. Critics labelled the 11.5-foot sculpture “vulgar” and “disgusting,” questioning the appropriateness of depicting a disabled and pregnant woman in such a manner. In an interview for the documentary, Alison reflects on the outrage, stating, “It’s just like, mind your business.” She emphasizes that the artwork represents a future where differences are celebrated, rather than judged.
A Heart-Wrenching Loss: The Death of Parys
The documentary’s emotional core lies in Alison’s profound grief over the untimely death of her son, Parys, who died in 2019 at the age of 19 from an accidental drug overdose after a long battle with mental health issues. As she revisits memories of Parys through video clips, Alison expresses her heartache and regrets: “I just want him back, and I wish I could do that again.”
Parys’s struggles with anxiety and bullying plagued his adolescent years, leading to his tragic decision to self-medicate with drugs. In the documentary, Alison admits, “It didn’t matter how much I loved him… it didn’t make an ounce of difference,” capturing a mother’s anguish over her inability to protect her child from the harsh realities of life.
A Mother’s Journey: Societal Scrutiny and Personal Triumphs
Throughout her life, Alison faced relentless scrutiny because of her disability and her role as a mother. From accusations of being an unfit parent to questions about her ability to care for Parys, the societal pressure was unyielding. Alison reveals, “I felt like I had to be 150% better than any other parent.” These challenges reached a peak when she was reported to social services over a misunderstanding involving her use of her feet to care for Parys.
Despite this, Alison is determined to redefine what it means to be a mother with a disability. She recalls her experiences during the filming of the BBC series, “Child of Our Time,” where she hoped to show that parents with disabilities could be just as capable and loving as anyone else.
Grieving Publicly: Art as a Medium for Healing
In the wake of Parys’s death, Alison found solace in her art as a means of processing her grief. She began creating an exhibition dedicated to her son, incorporating his belongings in a deeply personal tribute. “Putting the exhibition up…that was like going to see him in the morgue,” she shares. “It’s like saying goodbye all over again.” Through her paintings, Alison hopes to share the depth of her love for Parys and honor the bond they shared.
Breaking the Stigma Around Mental Health and Grief
Alison Lapper’s story is not only one of personal loss; it also highlights the societal stigmas surrounding mental health and grief. Alison reflects on the discomfort many feel discussing topics like drug addiction and mental illness: “As a nation, we are so ‘clammed up’ about death, illness and mental health.” She confronts the shame that often accompanies such discussions, insisting that she will not allow society to dictate how she feels about her son’s tragic passing.
As she embarks on this new chapter of her life, Alison strives to create a legacy that celebrates love and acceptance, challenging societal norms and advocating for those who feel marginalized.
A Legacy of Love
Alison Lapper’s journey is a testament to the transformative power of art in healing and the importance of familial love. With her documentary debuting soon, she invites viewers into her life—a life filled with challenges and triumphs. “I just want the world to have an understanding of what it’s like to be completely and utterly loved by your mum,” she states, underscoring the deep bond she shared with Parys.
For those interested in following Alison’s story, the documentary “Alison Lapper: In My Own Words” will air on September 9, 2023, at 10:40 PM on BBC One and be available on BBC iPlayer thereafter. Through her art and storytelling, Alison aims to inspire others and create a dialogue around acceptance and love in the face of adversity.
If you need help or resources about mental health and dealing with grief, check out the BBC Action Line.
